Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

I can count

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What to watch for in today’s NASCAR Cup race at Michigan International Speedway - NBC Sports

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have a reading level above third grade

Why is the United States urging restraint from Israel in its conflict with Hezbollah?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Ancient miasma theory may help explain Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s vaccine moves - NPR

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

How are the brains of super geniuses (like Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, Elon Musk, James Clerk Maxwell & Donald Trump) different from the average person’s brain?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Liam Coen: I think Trevor Lawrence’s footwork has drastically improved - NBC Sports

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What is a promotion strategy in marketing?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Michaels buys Joann brand, plans to expand crafting supply to meet demand - ABC News

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Baseball Opens MCWS With 7-4 Win Over Arizona - Coastal Carolina University Athletics

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What is a challenge you never want to face?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I see through liars

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I can read